Woe is me

It’s bizarre how taking a big decision renders me unable of taking any other, however small and insignificant. All things but one seem now meagre, meaningless. Time is slowly crawling and I can’t even make up my mind if I want it to pass faster or not.

Numbed by morphine, he’s now deep into his twilight sleep. Later this afternoon, with a little help from his humans, my buddy of more than 18 years will make the leap into the great unknown on the other side.

Met him on a chilly autumn day. No older than a month, a tiny but fearless black kitten, smaller than a sparrow, following passersby up and down the sidewalk, begging attention. He started purring as soon as I lifted him and I instantly knew we’ll be together for the long run. I love him dearly, however that’s not my merit. He’s well worthy of love.

Not quite an adult himself, he slipped without hesitation into the role of the Mother Cat, playing, guiding and grooming the orphan kittens we brought in.

Never selfish of greedy, he would yield his comfy spot or bowl of food to whomever manifested the smallest interest in it.

He loved music. The more strident and silly, like the most basic music box songs or the monophonic ringtones, the better.

He hated me having arguments, always rushing to climb to my lap and cause distraction to dissipate tense moments.

He loved the forbidden outdoors and secretly wished he was a dog. He would have been the greatest dog ever.

Surely we had our ups and downs, but we loved each other nevertheless. Clever enough to put two and two together and find me guilty of abandonment, he made it clear to me that the ordeal he had to endure in order to be able to join us here at the bottom of the Earth was the lowest point in our relationship. But we kissed and make up and all was forgiven the moment I brought him into our new home down under. I love him dearly. So hard to let go. Sad times ahead.

9 thoughts on “Woe is me

  1. Raluca Dragomir

    How sad….. May God bless him and rest in peace in Cats’ Heaven…

  2. cristina

    O, Doamne, cand vine acest moment ma doare si pe mine, daramite pe voi! Fiti tari. Imi pare rau. Totusi, o suferinta curmata si trecerea intr-o alta lume, speram mai buna, poate ca nu e cel mai rau lucru care i s-ar fi putut intampla, asa ca … sa te odihnesti in pace, Schwartz.

  3. Spufa

    Thanks Raluca, if there is a Cats’ Heaven, the kind and gentle soul of our cat deserves to be there. We are utterly heartbroken and we can only hope we’ll get together again on the other side.

  4. Spufa Post author

    Multumim, Cristina. Ne este tare, tare greu sa ne obisnuim cu ideea ca nu o sa il mai vedem niciodata, dar gandul ca nu se mai chinuie e intr-adevar singura consolare. In ultima vreme orbise si nu mai avea putere sa mearga deloc 🙁

  5. Vlad

    Ce trist, ne pare tare rău.
    Schwartz se va odihni un timp apoi se va reîncarna si poate va va căuta.

  6. Spufa Post author

    Multumim, Vlad. Sunt sigura ca ne-ar cauta, daca s-ar putea reincarna, am avut o relatie speciala, greu de explicat in cuvinte.

  7. cristina

    Ah, da, exact, uitasem de asta! Sa fii atenta (in masura in care poti sa fii atent la asa ceva) la visele din somnul de noapte. O sa iti apara in vis si o sa iti transmita cum e acolo. Pintza mea m-a vizitat in vis dupa cateva luni, dar am stiut ca a fost ea. La fel si tata. Si aproape toti cei dragi pe care i-am pierdut. Asta, daca vrei, e o dovada … si mie una mi se pare ok.

  8. Spufa

    Momentan am somnul greu si fara vise – adica nu imi amintesc sa fi visat nimic. Ce bine mi-ar prinde o dovada!

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